VIOLET’S GUIDE TO COSMETIC SURGERY Part 1

VIOLET’S GUIDE TO COSMETIC SURGERY

““Everyone I meet thinks that I am 21 years old but they would be surprised to learn my real age…”

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I’VE ALWAYS BEEN GORGEOUS

My mother said it was all down to good genes but I don’t see how a pair of pants can make you look 20 years younger than you are.

Even when I wear a skirt I look younger than my years and everyone tells me how gorgeous I am. But then I have always been gorgeous.

Cosmetic Surgery Myths and Facts

  • Big lips aren’t all they’re cracked up to be
  • Liposuction sucks
  • Poodle ear fat is not the best way to get rid of lines
  • Frilly nighties look better than hospital gowns
  • Noses come in all shapes and sizes
  • The top cosmetic surgeon is really expensive
  • The skin on my forehead is thinner than a piece of tissue paper
  • Your ears look better when they are on the side of your face and not on the top of your head
  • The first person to get cosmetic surgery was a cosmonaut – the aliens thought they had found one of their own when he appeared in space
  • Not all plastic surgery is plastic

I won’t tell you how old I am – no woman likes to give away their age – but I will tell you that I have all my own teeth, eyes and ears.

Other than that, it’s all fake! Well, naturally fake that is – cow fat, horse fat, pig fat and herbal essences.

Like I said, I have always been gorgeous but when I was 18 years old I woke up one morning and noticed 2 lines around my mouth. Mother took me right to the doctors and booked me in for my first face-lift.

I was so excited to get to hospital but when they brought the operating gown out to me I ran away – well would you be seen by gorgeous doctors in a blue floral paper nightie with a big slit down the back? I don’t think so…

When I got home I looked in the mirror again and tried to come to terms with my lines – then noticed that they had gone! And then it came back to me…I had forgotten to wipe the spaghetti off my face the night before! It must have fallen off when I ran out of the hospital!

What a lucky escape!

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