COACH SHANE ON FOOTBALL 2

COACH SHANE ON FOOTBALL 
THE BIG GAME AT ATLANTIS HIGH

THE WORST SPORTS IN HISTORY
  • Cow throwing. Did you know in Germany 800 years ago that Vikings used to throw around live cows – whoever threw the furthest was the winner. Mooooo!
  • Hamburger Competitions.My great grandfather Coach Shane III had the world record for eating – he scoffed 528 hamburgers in a little over half an hour. What a man!
  • Imaginary Frisbee. This is where you play frisbee but don’t use a frisbee. Yep, you gotta use your imagination!
  • Growing oak trees. This is the slowest game – you start with seeds and grow a tree. It takes about 100 years to see who has the biggest tree and is the winner.

Well recently
there was a big game – we are talking B – I – um… J – G! That’s right, we’re talking BIJG!! The bigjest game in Atlantis High was against an opposition coached by Lou Siffer called “The Dark Side”. Well, they seemed like a nice group of people!

Atlantis High had never ever (ever) won a football game. I was determined to change that and trained my troops in the Cha Cha Cha, Macerana and Tango. With Giles Gordon as quarter-pounder,
there was no way we could lose!

Thanks to a giant mutant pigeon that distracted our opposition, we were able to pull off an amazing win that will go down in history books for ever!

 

COACH SHANE’s 10 TIPS ON PLAYING FOOTBALL

  1. Always look good
  2. Stick with the rhythm
  3. Brush your teeth so they are sparkly clean and shiny
  4. Wear some nice shorts
  5. Concentrate on the ball.
  6. Keep your eye on the ball. Even better, both eyes.
  7. Watch the ball.
  8. Always focus on the ball.
  9. Pay close attention to where the ball is and
  10. Pay close attention to what the ball is doing.

 

 

COACH SHANE ON FOOTBALL 1

COACH SHANE ON FOOTBALL

“”Hi, it’s me – Coach Shane. There was a big football game at Atlantis High lately. Everyone has their opinions on sports – but especially me. I am the world authority on football and this is my guide to it”

EXCLUSIVE

QUICKTIME MOVIE COMING SOON

 

ORIGINS OF SPORT

WHY DO SPORTS?
  • It’s healthy – yep, all that running around and sweating is good for you – and your body too. You’ll be healthy and fit in no time.
  • To impress people – I have always found that babes love to watch guys run around on a field. Look at those cheerleaders digging my muscles. If you play sports, people will be impressed and love you and ask for your autograph.
  • Its good for your skin tone – let’s face it, everyone wants nice skin tone don’t they? I have found if you play sports then you may get muddy – and a mud patch is good to give you lovely skin tone. Mud is free and saves you buying moisturiser. 

Now not a lot of people know this but the first sport happened in the year 2 million and four B.C. That’s BC for “Before Cricket”. It happened that
 on a cold night in Caveman Urg’s cave, Urg and his
wife were having a rock fight (they were arguing) when suddenly Urg’s wife picked up a tree and struck a round rock that Urg threw at her. That’s the true story of how baseball was invented (it was called Rockball in those days). But there was no cable tv to watch it on 2 million years ago…

WHO NEEDS A COACH?

On to the present day. Well, since those days when sport was invented there have been lots of other sports that have developed – like cooking, ironi
ng, tap dancing, jogging, cricket, and my favourite – wearing shorts! – ooops, I mean – football!

Well what is a Coach you may be asking? Some coaches are used to carry people around (you take a coach to get somewhere). But the type of coach I am is the guy (or girl) who gives you advice on how to play the game – who inspires you with the gameplan. You gotta make sure you have the right moves and get with the rhythm to enjoy your sport – and the coach helps you with this.

 

ANTONIA’S GUIDE TO LOVE 2

ANTONIA’S GUIDE TO LOVE 
STAYING IN LOVE OR BREAKING UP?

Things you do when you’re in love:

  1. Feel giddy and faint when seeing the person you love
  2. Get tongue tied and not know what to say when seeing the person you love
  3. Buy presents for (or receive presents from) the person of your dreams
  4. Smile a lot
  5. Spend all day thinking about the person you love

Love is not easy. There can be obstacles in the way of love. Sometimes I used to argue with Anthony – and he would even argue with me in return!

Rumours can plague a relationship. Many students at Atlantis would whisper crazy things that I was really Anthony and would dress up as him – and then dress as myself – because Anthony and Anthonia were never seen together? That’s a horrible thing to say. Anthony and I would not normally be seen together because – um… because… well… because we wouldn’t, that’s why!

You can tell sombody’s NOT happily in love when they are:
  1. Having dates. Lots of them (I mean the fruit called dates. Too many will give you indigestion!).
  2. Walking round town dressed up in a lifesize gorilla suit. This is not a way to attract someone and show’s the person is not in love.
  3. Being irritable all the time. If someone’s mega grouchy then this may be because they are very angry at something – when someone’s happily in love, they are normally happy.
  4. Avoiding movies, books or anything to do with the subject of love. This is trying to escape from the whole love thing and shows they want none of it!
  5. Buying loads and loads of boxes of tissues. This is to wipe away the tears of unhappiness. Or then again, maybe the person has a bad cold and needs to wipe their nose?

Jet says love is a conspiracy by toaster manufacturers. You fall in love, get married and buy a toaster in your new house then divorce – and have to buy another toaster.

It’s true I guess that things can pop up unexpectedly when you’re in love (and toaster’s pop up) so there may be a connection after all…


Sadly, Anthony and I have broken up – for good! Boo hoo hoo (pass me the tissues!). I feel like I have literally been split down the middle by our break up. And now, Anthony has left Sunset Cove and may never return. What am I going to do? How can I ever get over our love which I thought would last forever? I will truly never ever love again… actually hang on, on second thoughts, Mr Dorsey is quite handsome from a certain perspective…

 

ANTONIA’S GUIDE TO LOVE 1

ANTONIA’S GUIDE TO LOVE

“Hi, I’m Antonia and I’ve been in love with the hunk of my life, Anthony. But now he’s gone and I think we’ve split for good! Love can be good and bad – I know a lot about love and this is my guide to it…”

LOVE

FALLING IN LOVE

10 famous couples:

  1. Anthony and Cleopatra
  2. Anthony and Antonia
  3. Romeo and Juliet
  4. Heathcliff and Cathy
  5. Sonny and Cher
  6. Strawberries and cream
  7. David and Victoria Beckham
  8. Superman and Louis Lane
  9. Apple pie and ice cream
  10. Morecambe and Wise

I remember when Anthony and I first fell in love. Anthony actually did fall for me – he tripped over my books at school (I had deliberately dropped them to get his attention) and we soon fell for each other.


Why do you fall in love?

Well there are different schools of thought on this. Some scientists say it’s all to do with how you smell. There’s something called “pheromones” and people smell you and are attracted by your pheromones (weren’t they a 70s pop group my Mum listened to?). I loved the smell of Anthony’s pheromones – and he wore a nice aftershave too.
Other scientists say that it’s due to chemistry – although I prefer Mr Dorsey’s physics class. How can chemistry have anything to do with it?

And there are age old sayings like “opposites attract” to explain falling in love. But hey, that can’t be true!

I’m really pretty and a nice person – why would I fall in love with my opposite who would be really ugly and horrible? That’s just weird…
Apparently love may also have something to do with the birds and the bees but I’m not sure how this could be so. Is it because love gives you a buzz (like bees)? Or you feel all chirpy (like a bird) when you’re in love? I don’t know.
But for whatever reason, people fall in love.

In love but not in love???

Sometimes people are in love but keep it a secret and don’t tell each other. I know Giles is in love with Octavia – he goes crazy whenever she strolls by. But he seems too scared to tell her.
Does Octavia like Giles in return? I don’t know for sure – maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t but she’s not letting on for now.
Other times, people say they are in “love” but use this as an excuse to get something else. Sabrina is always chasing after Josh. Yes, he’s good looking but I think she likes him more for the fact he is amazingly rich – she’s after his wealth rather than him as a person.

 

Christmas in Sunset Cove nice earings! 3

SPECIAL ATLANTIS HIGH GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS

Christmas in Sunset Cove


DOROTHY
: “Why I love Christmas!! It’s my job to cook the Christmas turkey for the Atlantis High school dinner – this year’s bird was caught during a game of football and is a giant mutant pigeon that weights over four tonnes! It will take me all month to cook. My little Giles looks so cute wearing his winter woolies”.

SOPHIE: “I love Christmas! Santa and I have a competition to see who has the best special powers – he can jump down chimneys or letterboxes but my
poltergeist can lift up presents and make them fly around the room! I’d like to get Mr Fluffy Muffin a Santa hat – and for Giles to marry me!”.

VERMONT: “Oh dear, I have unhappy memories about Christmas. Last year I thought Santa (flying in his sleigh) was a UFO – I saw lights in the sky and ordered my troops to open fire. Santa was almost a gonner but Rudolph took evasive action and saved him. I’d like to know if there ARE any aliens out there for Christmas – and to catch one! I also love stockings – um, putting them on the fireplace rather than wearing them, you’ll understand!”.

GRAMPA: “I remember my first Christmas when I was a child about 300 years ago. My mother knitted me a locomotive out of steel wire. I loved it! This year I’ll knit Giles his own car
and carry on the tradition. I like to reminisce about Christmases from long ago with Frosty the snowman – he’s really cool!

HAVE YOURSELF A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!
We would like to wish you a fantastic Christmas. There’ll be some amazing Atlantis High guides to check out in the New Year! Happy Christmas!