Mr Dorsey on Halloween 2

Mr Dorsey on Halloween 
Antonia! My dear I am so thankful that you are here. Could you please tell me a little bit about this horrendous night that is coming up?


“Certainly Mr. Dorsey. It’s all quite simple really.

You see, the term Halloween has been around since the times of the ancient Celts. It was originally an end of year celebration to celebrate the summers’ harvest and mark the start of the winter. The end of the year in those days was at the end of October.

People in those days were very superstitious and thought that anything that went wrong was because the spirits of their dead ancestors were not happy.

Gifts were offered to the spirits on the night that marked the end of the year in the hope that this would keep them happy for the New Year.

The appeasement of spirits was something that has lasted through time and as the years went by, though some traditions and feast days changed, the act of keeping the spirits happy carried on.
This act developed through time and took on different customs from various races and people until it became the tradition we know today – Halloween.

This night of the 31st October is a way of meeting the spirit world half way and facing up to fears. As a reflection of the earliest offerings to spirits in days gone by, children now dress up as ghosties and otherworldly characters and travel from house to house asking for treats. If they are not given sweets or candies a trick is often played out to mimic the supposed mischief of spirits. Adults dress up too sometimes so that they don’t feel left out and that is where the broomsticks come in to it Mr.Dorsey. Some people dress up as witches and witches are supposed to be able to fly on broomsticks!

Witches, werewolves, vampires, scary clowns and other such characters have also become part of the Halloween tradition through the introduction of popular stories, books and movies that feature them and have placed them firmly in the psyche of the public as creatures as ominous as ghosts (if not more so).



Pumpkins are carved and illuminated by candles in order to scare away the spirits and monsters that lurk on Halloween night.


Party games are played and horrible food and drinks served just for fun!
Spooky stories are told and scary movies watched because some people find it good to be scared!

In conclusion Mr.Dorsey, it seems that what started off as a serious celebration has become another excuse to have fun and get dressed up! Of course, other cultures still do take these spiritual things seriously and have their own keep the spirits away and happy traditions.

But you really have nothing to be scared about Mr.Dorsey, because here in Sunset Cove we will just have a fun time. And we have the Silver Lining to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to us.”

“Oh Antonia, thank you, thank you! I am so relieved that everything will be okay and that some evil bloodsucker will not attack me.

And so my family you see that I will be alright. I will try to enjoy this strange earth celebration and look forward to the day that I can tell you about my experience scale to scale.
And now I might try to find out a bit about a fat man in a red suit who flies around in the snow with some animals that have big antlers… “

  

 

Mr Dorsey on Halloween 1

Mr Dorsey on Halloween
A member of Sunset Patrol managed to intercept this report from the school science teacher, Mr.Dorsey to his family in a place called Phenorg
Mr Dorsey’s Guide to Halloween.

Well well my friends, today I will tell you about the strange celebration that these earth people call ‘Halloween’. The first I heard about this Halloween thing is when I was invited to a party that young Sophie May is having. She told me that it is all very yukky but so much fun and that I would have to dress up like a ghost or a headless man or something. I really needed to find out a little bit about what I should do and what I should wear because it all sounded very strange to me.


So, I hired some of those video things from the Sunset Cove Video Store on the High Street. They are disgusting! I could it believe what I was seeing! People cutting people up and scaring little children and walking around wearing masks. What is wrong with these earthlings to make them want to watch things like this in their living rooms? It is worse than what happens on Planet Phineirg!


And why would Sophie want to have this kind of party? I am really rather scared now because I do not want some Wampire to attack my neck. He would notice my scaly skin and as we do not have the normal kind of red blood that these earthlings seem to have, he would discover my secret and guess that I am not in fact, an earthling.

Even Josh Montana has turned bad!


Anyway, I have tried to stay calm and act as Uncle Xeron would have done. I went to the local store to see what kind of costumes there are and again I was shocked and amazed. There were these big sharp teeth and long nails, bolts that you can put in your head and blood that you can trickle down your chin. There were wigs like the ones Miss. Profusion wears and Wampire capes. I just do not know what to think anymore. Why would I want to dress like this? What will I do?


I saw Don the janitor carving up a huge orange in to a terrifying face that had eyes and a mouth that glowed in an eerie way. It reminded me of the Maltivian Swamp! Oh Phenorg!


I saw the chef from the Princess Diner making a revolting looking drink. It was bright green and it was very lumpy. As a matter of fact, it looked a little bit like Confictler Water from my beloved planet of Phenorg but there were spiders and worms in it instead of mice.


I am starting to get a little bit too homesick now and so think that I should make a list of the things that I have noticed you should do if you want to be a part of this Halloween night. This will help me to takemy mind of my home and my family that I miss so very much.

Jet Marigold is a witch!


1. Find a huge orange and attack it with a sharp knife. Scoop out all of its insides with a large spoon and then hack the most frightening face you can think of in to its skin. Set light to a candle and ram it in to the space in the middle. Put the orange in to your window so that everybody can admire your handiwork.

2. Try to get your spirit friends to hang around your house. I do not know what Sophie’s poltergeist looks like but the ghosts I have seen in the shops and in the neighbourhood windows are very plain and white looking. They float around and some of them scream if you bump in to them but most of them are very quiet and are just ‘there’.

3. Buy some blood if you do not have enough of your own and some teeth if your own are not sharp or yellow enough. Claws or sharp nails are also required. And you can buy wigs to make you look like Miss. Profusion. Maybe nobody told her that Halloween is only for one day

4. Get some clothing to dress in for the night. It needs to be red or black. Or white if you want to look like your spirit friends.

5. Buy a broom in case you want to help sweep the neighbourhood. (I think that the town will be even cleaner than it already is after all the cleaning that will go on this Halloweens night. But I do not understand why you have to wear a big black hat while you sweep.)


6. Buy lots and lots of candy to throw at children who knock on your door

7. Talk to your house spiders and ask them to make more cobwebs so that you can cover your house with them.

8. Watch all those horrifying videos so that you know what to look out for on Halloween night.

9. Buy a lot of garlic to put around your neck because I hear that there will be many Wampires out when the moon is behind the clouds. This will help to scare them away from your neck.

10. Practice staying up very very late at night so that you will be able to watch out for wampires, witches, werewolves and all the other terrifying monsters that will be prowling around.



Oh mother, I am so worried. I am told that I will have fun but I do not know how. How will I be able to tell if a witch is real or if it is Sabrina in disguise? What if somebody bleeds on me? Do I call a doctor or do I just ignore what is happening because it is meant to be fun? I cannot bring myself to attack a helpless orange and turn it in to a horrifying face!

 

 

GILES GORDON ON THE BEACH 2

GILES GORDON ON THE BEACH 
THE BEACH PARTY

Beaches in popular culture

  1. Baywatch tv series
  2. The Beach movie
  3. Beach Boys, legendary pop group
  4. On the beach – Chris Rea song
  5. Big Wednesday – 1970s surf movie
  6. Silver Surfer – 60s cartoon hero
  7. Jaws films and the beach
  8. New York beach in Planet of the Apes
  9. Ursula Andress on the beach in Dr. No
  10. Bridget Bardot, 1950s actres

“Beach parties are held in Sunset Cove
really often. It attracts practically everyone in town. There is nice music, fantastic barbecue food, great sunshine. Bronzed hunks flex their muscles and beach babes strut their stuff.

Josh Montana asked Octavia to the beach – she turned him down and instead Octavia actually said to me “I look forward to seeing you there, Giles” in Atlantis High school the other day! I can’t believe it. Do I have the courage to go to the beach? Will Octavia really be there or is this just a joke?

6 Famous Beaches

  1. Venice Beach, California
  2. Laguna Beach, California
  3. Bondei Beach, Sydney
  4. Surfers’ Paradise, Gold Coast
  5. Blackpool beach, UK
  6. Sunset Cove, Atlantis High

Dare I go to the beach party? If I go, I will stick out like a lightbulb that’s gone out on Christmas tree lights… but
 if the girl of my dreams, Octavia, is going to the beach party then this might be a party that I cannot miss…”

 

GILES GORDON ON THE BEACH 1

GILES GORDON ON THE BEACH 

“Hi, I’m Giles Gordon. My life changed forever in many ways when I moved to Sunset Cove with my Mum, Dorothy, and my crazy Grandpa. The beach is one of the most popular things with people in this wacky town – and this is my guide to it…”

THE BEACH

SUNSET COVE BEACH

10 things you won’t see at the beach:

  1. Giant monster octopuses
  2. Fish sunbathing
  3. People selling melted ice creams
  4. Aliens on holiday
  5. Someone living in a sandcastle
  6. Antarctic explorers
  7. Polar Bears playing volleyball
  8. Leonardo Di Caprio
  9. A snowman
  10. Guys wearing bikinis

“Everyone goes to the beach in Atlantis High – Sunset Cove’s beach is famous. It has endless miles of golden sands stretching further than the eye can see. It is breathtaking. Every day seems to be hot, hot, hot and there are always bronzed hunks and beach babes lazing under the sun making themselves look more tanned and more beautiful than ever. My ears hurt on the beach – the waves are so big and loud, the surf is always “up” here and it is a paradise for surfers (I
only wish I learned to swim as surfing looks fun – and attracts loads of beach babes!).

A HUNK OF HUNKS

“Eeek. I try to keep clear of the Sunset Cove beach because there are more muscles on these miles of sand than in all the gyms of the world combined. I don’t look like Mr. Universe but more like a “nerd” and stick out like a really sore thumb.

On the beach there are guys with arms wider than my waist – lifting huge weights and pumping iron to make their muscles even bigger. Muscle-guys do press-ups like there is no tomorrow.

10 things you may see at the beach:

  1. Swimmers in the waves
  2. Sunbathers
  3. Surfers
  4. Kids making sandcastles
  5. Lifeguards
  6. People selling ice creams
  7. People renting chairs to sit on
  8. Weird wormy shapes in the sand
  9. Dogs running about
  10. Joggers getting exercise

There are all kinds of beach sports being played everywhere you look – beach volleyball, beach soccer, Frisbee, hacka-sack, catch, swimming. More sports on one beach than the Olympic games”. 

BEAUTIFUL BABES

“Oh but the babes! Surely Sunset Cove is the place where the world’s supermodels grow up and make themselves look beautiful on the beach!

Lounging around in the sun (surrounded by guys) are some of the wonders of the world. Ocean girls with teeth like pearls, flowing hair that makes guys stare. Sometimes I feel like I do love the beach after all and don’t want to return home – but make the beach my new home instead…”

 

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO BOYS 2

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO BOYS 

The Men of Sunset Cove
As you may know, as “Sexy Sophie” I am seeking the best man in town and am literally going through the phonebook checking out the men of the town. Here’s my observations on the men of Sunset Cove and who I’d like to go out with (and who I wouldn’t!)…

Giles Gordon – Mr. Nerd had the rudeness to turn me down before I became Sexy Sophie. Yep, I used to have a thing for him – he was kinda cute.

Josh Montana – the richest guy in town but not the smartest. Oh, so what – I prefer brawn over brains any day and in this department Josh cuts the moxie.

Beanie Weanie – if you like big ears, you’ll like him. He’s guaranteed to listen to you at all times.

Mr. Dorsey – too old and rumours have it that he has green skin. He needs more moisturizer.

Coach Shane – a bit too old too – after all, he is a teacher. With rippling muscles, he is a pair of biceps on legs and is hunky. I like hunks.

Silver Lining – who is this mysterious superhero? I like pink and I like guys in pink – so I like him.

Bad Mood – and who is this supervillain? He’s nasty and even not nice. But I like black more than I like pink. And I like guys in black more than I like guys in pink. So yeah… he’s good.

Commander Vermont – in three words – old, old, old. And married (drat!)…

Grampa Gordon – in two words – old and crazy. I like crazy. Gramps is younger than his true years and is the town’s rebel without a cause.

Some Famous Guys
Who are the best looking guys in history? It’s touch to choose them. Well, here is my Top Ten of All-time handsome hunks…

1. Giles Gordon
2. Tribemaster
3. James Dean
4. Grampa Gordon
5. Johnny Depp
6. Mel Gibson
7. Pierce Brosnan
8. Ben Affleck
9. Chewbacca
10. Harrison Ford


How to catch your dream date

I am irresistible to most men in the world. They just cannot stop falling for me with my amazing appeal. Here’s some tips on how to get your dream guy:

1. Set a trap. Yep, you can put some food on the floor or something in a big mouse trap and catch a man

2. Flutter your eyelashes. Guys love chicks with nice eyes and eyelashes. Give them a flutter.

3. Flick your hair. Turn your shoulders and twirl your head, making your hair flick. Guys drop their jaws for that – especially if your hair is long. Ideally do it in slow-motion.

Well, I better stop now. I am up to letter “P” in the Sunset Cove phonebook so must continue my checking out the boys in town. I hoped you like my guide to boys…