Atlantis High Guides Archives - Page 5 of 30

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO BOYS 1

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO BOYS

In the past when I was shy and quirky, I used to ask myself “Boys? Who needs them?” – but now I am the irresistible sexy Sophie, I answer “I need them!”. Who are the boys in Sunset Cove and how do you meet Mr. Right? Well, you can find out by reading my guide to boys…

A History of BoysI didn’t pay much attention to Mr. Dorsey before but I do remember that the first boy was some guy called Adam. That’s not a very cool name – shouldn’t he have been called Lex or Robbie or something? Anyway, this Adam guy was the first boy but had a weakness in his love for fruit. If you know the story in the Bible, I guess the morale is “never listen to a snake’s advice”!.

But anyway since that day, boys have been found in history. Every guy needs a girl and some famous guys in history have had famous wives or girlfriends – Anthony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, King Henry and Anne Boleyn – ahh, isn’t it so romantic!

There are about 3 billion men on the planet right now – if I had to kiss each one of them, it would take me about 15 billion seconds – that’s over 95 years and I’d be old and wrinkly and yucky looking by that time. I would also need lots of lipstick…

Good things about Boys

Us girls know that girls are really better than boys but following my nasty experience with those yucky weird aliens, I have changed and now have come to appreciate that boys are quite nice really and have their good points. Boys are good for:

1. Changing lightbulbs
2. Washing dishes
3. Doing gardening
4. Getting rid of nasty bugs
5. Good for nothing
And boys are fun sometimes (if you meet the right one – many of them aren’t good) when you meet a nice guy then you could maybe go on a date! Ahh – the cinema, a romantic candlelit dinner, comparing stamp collections – you can have great fun!

Bad things about boys

There are sadly some bad things about boys – and these mostly are:

1. They’re hairy. Yep, most guys are part-gorillas and need to shave regularly. Yucky.
2. They’re not very bright. It’s true – many guys don’t have very big brains.
3. They only want one thing – food. Yep, most guys want fresh food on the table every day already cooked for them. Can’t they learn how to cook meals on their own?
4. They snore. Ever heard a guy asleep? They will sound like a pig with very loud and unpleasant snoring.
5. They have bad breath. Uh-huh. Despite toothbrushes and flossing, most guys have stinky breath, worse than a doggie’s breath, and the smell attracts bugs.

THE SUNSET COVE GUIDE TO VALENTINES DAY 2

THE SUNSET COVE GUIDE TO VALENTINES DAY

5 things not to give on Valentines Day:

Highly venomous snake
A one way ticket to the other side of the world
Information on who you’ve been cheating with
Liposuction or plastic surgery vouchers
Garlic chewing gum

ALIENS AND VALENTINES DAY

Aliens celebrate something similar to Valentines Day called the “Glorg” festival.

Young aliens wanting to prove their love to someone have to wrestle a 7ft tall, three eyed monster to the ground. If they succeed the monster is given as a pet to their loved one.

Aliens show their affection in different ways from humans. They don’t kiss or rub noses – they perform a complicated dance, jumping from one foot to another and rubbing elbows together followed by rubbing their big toe. This is done to special mumbo jumbo alien music while all the time yelling “Gorg!” “Gorg!”

Older alien couples balance buckets of ice cold water on their heads to show their stamina and dedication to do anything for the one they love

What would Sunset Cover’s give on Valentines Day

Giles loves Octavia and would probably go for something conventional like a bunch of flowers or some chocolates – maybe even a poem.

Jet might give Beanie a pair of earmuffs to keep his big ears warm. But then again she might disregard Valentines Day altogether. Jet sees these days as commercial conspiracies.

Antonia would buy Mr Dorsey a whole lot of mice. She knows this is something he loves.

Josh might send Octavia a card from Silver Lining. He’d want to send her something but he’d like it to be from his alter ego and anonymous.

Sabrina would only send her lover’s a wish list of what she would like for Valentines Day.

THE SUNSET COVE GUIDE TO VALENTINE 1

THE SUNSET COVE GUIDE TO VALENTINES DAY

Cupid’s been doing the rounds in Sunset Cove and this week it’s Valentines Day. So here is our Guide to Valentines Day in Sunset Cove.

HISTORY OF VALENTINES DAY

5 gifts to give on Valentines day

Flowers
Chocolates
Jewellery
Hugs and kisses
A marriage proposal

Valentines Day in Sunset Cove started around 500MD. Mid February was Spring time and a time for fertility.

Many years ago a young man named Drew Druid got his wife for Valentines Day a giant 20ft high Domino game. She played with it for hours but when it came time to knock them down she crushed 20 villages. Rumour has it that this is how Stone Henge came to be.

In Victorian times in Sunset Cove men gave their lovers a box of tissues. With all the pollenous flowers around at that time of year it was a thoughtful gift.

Around the 11th Century Dr Goggs a Transilvanian surgeon made a new compound of lipstick. He thought this would be a wonderful gift for his wife. It was later discovered that the lipstick contained superglue and her lips were stuck together for weeks until they could be chisled open. While he appreciated her weight loss and lack of nagging at the time the prototype lipstick never made it to be a great Valentines Day gift.

CUPID

It is said that long long ago Cupid was firing his arrows at unsuspecting young people when he had a sudden sneezing fit – thousands of arrows were shot in every direction. This may have had an influence on a young man called Cassanova who was said to have up to 5,000 lovers.

Cupid has struck out a few times in Sunset Cove. His arrow aimed at Sabrina must have had a kink in it because all she seems to love is money. When Valentines Day comes around Sabrina sends out dozens of cards to every boy in town asking them to send her Credit Cards, not Valentines cards.

GILES’ GUIDE TO WEDDINGS 2

GILES’ GUIDE TO WEDDINGS

When looking for a soulmate…In Sunset Cove there is no shortage

of babes and hunks so looks aren’t really a problem. You need to consider personality, their family, status, fortune, body hair, odour and any extras such as poltergeists. Hey! this is Sunset Cove and people here can be really shallow!How to Plan an Atlantis High Wedding

Firstly the woman should probably organise most of it or leave it to her parents. Leave the Groom to relax because he’s not usually good at organising anyway. But let him have a little input because he likes to feel important.

1. Pick your Bride/Groom (be careful choosing because you may have to spend the rest of your life with them)
2. Get your blood tests which are legally required in Sunset Cove
3. Find a sponsor
4. Find the location, making sure there is an escape route in case it’s necessary
5. Get married and live happily ever after

The Perfect Marriage – Jet and Beanie

These two needed only a little convincing before realising they were attracted to each other. They have many things in common and nothing comes between their love. Beanie wanted to be married to be “normal” and because he loves Jet. Although Jet may think that marriage is a conspiracy for toaster manufacturers she was prepared to put that behind her in order to marry her Beanie. And they lived happily ever after…. or did they?

Where to get married?

Everyone has their own idea on where they might want to be married. Here are some of my suggestions.

1. A church

2. The beach (always a good place in Sunset Cove)

3. A beautiful garden

4. In Las Vegas (Elvis style)

5. In space

GILES’ GUIDE TO WEDDINGS 1

GILES’ GUIDE TO WEDDINGS

Hi I’m Giles Gordon and I know first hand about weddings. Weddings have been a regular occurance in Sunset Cove recently and this is my guide to a wedding in Sunset Cove…

My Wedding Experiences Weddings are supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. Marrying the one you love, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

There have been three weddings recently in Sunset Cove. Though not all of them have gone to plan.

I was never really sure if marrying Sophie was the right thing to do especially seeing as I felt I didn’t have a choice. And knowing that Octavia is still the girl of my dreams, I had to get out of it. So when Grampa gave me a push, that was all I needed, and I ran!! Sophie and her poltergeist were not impressed!!

I’m lucky I got out when I did or I would have been eating apple pies for the rest of my life.

5 ways to get out of a marriage

We sometimes make mistakes but getting to your wedding day and realising your mistake is cutting it a bit fine. But here are some sure ways to get around it.

1. Run for your life!!! (and don’t stop for a few days)

2. Tell your bestfriend they can finally have your partner ’cause you know they’ve always wanted them – and watch them pounce!

3. Fake your own death preferably in a gruesome way just to make it “real”.

4. Tell your partners parents you’re really an alien in disguise and you were planing to eat your wife/husband.

5. Tell your partner you’re in love with the Bridesmaid or the Best Man.

Octavia marrying Josh sent my head into a spin. I couldn’t believe it. Here was my vision of loveliness walking down the aisle with someone else! What can you do?

Sabrina has always wanted Josh Montana and she was in the same boat as I was. So it didn’t surprise me to find out her devious lan to get him! Money is everything to Sabrina and sacrificing someone’s happiness for it was all in a days work. She certainly made short work of Josh’s credit cards!