SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SUPERPOWERS 2

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SUPERPOWERS


My favourite all time super power is invisibility. I have this friend called Madison who is invisible. She gets a bit annoying sometimes because she follows me around everywhere and she talks all the time – funny thing is that nobody else can hear her!

There are some really cool powers that I am working on. I have managed to spin my head around when I get really angry but one thing that I want to do more than anything is to make my eyes pop out of my head. I have been practising and I know that I’ll get there in the end. I have managed to get my left eye to leave the socket but so far it doesn’t come out far enough to impress Giles. He keeps leaving the room whenever I practice! Bah. I’ll have to keep trying.

My Mommy said that my powers must have skipped a generation and come from my grandfather on my uncle’s side who was able to see through walls and had super strength.

Legend has it that Grandpop met his wife when he clocked her through the walls of the local hospital. He liked what he saw and went in to ask her to marry him. It turns out that she already had a boyfriend and this fella took badly when Grandpop proposed and they started to fight.

Top Ten Superpowers

  1. X-ray vision
  2. Flying
  3. Invisibility
  4. Elastic band body
  5. Super strength
  6. Night Vision
  7. Climbing walls
  8. Camouflage
  9. Telescopic legs
  10. Binocular eyes

Well Grandpop had this incredible left hook and he managed to smash the poor boyfriend guy in the mouth and the poor boyfriend guy went sailing through the air and ended up right on the other side of the hospital.

Well the little lady was really impressed as she has always had a thing for strong men but they separated when she met an Iron Man when the local fair came to town and she ran off with him and they had 12 children together.

So it seems that superpowers do run in my family and I am really really pleased that I have inherited them and I can’t wait to see if I develop any more ~ now I’ve got to go and get on with my eye popping!

Click Here to see some of my favourite superpower moments on video!!

 

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SUPERPOWERS 1

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SUPERPOWERS


“Hi everybody, my name’s Sophie May but you can call me Sophie. I have so many superpowers they’d blow your socks off! Let me tell you a little something about them…”

 


The first time I noticed that I was different was when I was a little itsy bitsy baby. I was in my playpen and Mommy had given me a new rattle. But silly Mommy had chosen the wrong colour and I got really really mad.

The naughty rattle flew out of my cute little hands and bumped Mommy in the head! When she shouted I got scared and Mr. Fluffy Muffin came floating over to me from the other side of the room to give me nice cosy huggle.

After that I could do anything I wanted when I got scared or angry and people started to run away when they saw me coming. For some weird reason plant pots would always fall on people’s heads when I walked past.

I felt really bad a lot of the time but after a while I started to get used to these things happening around me and got to know how I could use my powers to my advantage.

There are some other people that live in Sunset Cove that have some great superpowers. Silver Lining is really good at running fast and he can also do some mean cartwheels. Sigh, he is the cutest!

Old Mr. McGreggor was the most famous old guy around with super powers. He could fly, he really really could! One dark and rainy day Mr. McGreggor was digging for carrots when his shovel hit an electricity cable and he flew up into the air so high that he landed in a tree and had to be brought down by the firemen. He was so cute, his hair was all sticking up and his false teeth had fallen out and his glasses were broken and his little old body was all burnt and smelly…

Oh, then there was Little Gabby who was a circus clown who had come to live here when he left the Jacks Brothers Extravaganza. He would do these back flips all down the High Street and then he would bend forwards and fling himself from side to side really fast until your eyes went all googly just from

watching him and then he would come over and take your purse away before you could see him coming! He was the best! But he had to go away to a nasty smelly place where they have bars on the windows. Poor Little Gabby!

 

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SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SKIING WITH YOUR POLTERGEIST Part 2

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SKIING WITH YOUR POLTERGEIST
Packing

Remember to dress warm. This is snow territory. That means you’ll have to wear socks under your sandals, and bring several bags to keep your surfboard warm and cozy. Layers are crucial.

Pack for three months. As you probably will not have a laundry machine, this means approximately 180 pairs of underwear. (Heed your mother’s pleas. Remember to change your underwear frequently, in case you have an accident.)

Canned food is a bad idea, and can lead to nasty, circular bruises in your forehead. If able, I recommend that you bring live food. Since all ghosts are vegan, animal livestock is simply out of the question. However, your vegetable garden can be made portable, using a green turtle sandbox. Be sure to properly secure this before parachuting.

A toothbrush is unnecessary. As much as you want to, you will never kiss your poltergeist. A hairbrush is okay, but I prefer to shave my head before long trips, so I don’t have to worry about a mass of blonde tangles.

You could choose to purchase skis in advance, but there is often an old wooden pair suspended in a decorative X on the cabin walls, and I prefer to leave some room for chance. If you do not find skis in your stolen cabin, you can always remove a log or two from the wall and strap these to your feet.

Skiing
I understand that many of my readers have never been on skis. Don’t worry. It is just like waterskiing—you can even strap yourself onto your poltergeist, and let him drive on ahead of you. However, in most cases, I prefer to let gravity to the driving.

When skiing, it is important to listen to the sounds around you. If you hear a crusty scrape, you are probably skiing on ice, and should take note that falling will hurt. A soft whisper like waves on sand is what you should hear. As well as a rush of wind in your ears. If the wind is not screaming louder than the banshee beside you, you are not moving fast enough. If you hear a large crack, there are two possibilities: you are about to learn the definition of ‘avalanche,’ or your poltergeist is hurling a tree at you. Either way ditch your skis, and run fast.

Push your limits! You might as well try a few jumps. Remember, your poltergeist is having fun too! So whether you like it or not, you will soon be airborne. Best to make that choice for yourself. Flips are a great way to see the world from the perspective of an Australian.

Please be aware of obstacles. The slope may look clear for the next10 feet, but in the point-five seconds it takes to move cross that 10 feet, your poltergeist will have added a tree, a tugboat, and a four-post bed to the scenery before you. Vigilance is paramount. Challenge your ghost as he challenges you. Make his job difficult.

If you do fall, do not tumble endlessly as you might when thrown from your surfboard. Remember, you have two new cumbersome appendages, and a poorly planned fall could literally result in a human knot. Skiers who wish to avoid this would do well to tie their skis together and thus maintain their position relative to each other.

I would highly recommend skiing through trees. Trees create a special sort of natural maze, and, with your poltergeist there, trying his ghostly best to destroy you, the trees will creak and walk around you like a crowd of humans. It’s like in that movie, where David Bowie had all the makeup and walked upside-down on the stairs….the maze is changing around you. Really cool, very heady experience. Do take care though, that you do not run into a freshly relocated tree. Remember, while your poltergeist can split himself in two and trickle around the tree like water, you will only be halted, in a sudden, violent tree-hug.

Getting Home
This is your problem. You’re the one who parachuted down to an abandoned old cabin in the middle of nowhere, with no bathtub or telephone, with nothing but an evil ghost for company. What were you thinking?

Good Luck!

You’ll have a great time and really come to intimately understand your personal poltergeist. Have fun! And remember, skiing is perfectly safe, as long as you’re not a Kennedy..

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SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SKIING WITH YOUR POLTERGEIST Part 1

SOPHIE’S GUIDE TO SKIING WITH YOUR POLTERGEIST

 Hi! Sophie here! I am very old. In fact, in less than a decade, I will be able to rent a car! As such, I would like to share some of my valuable life experiences with you younguns. One of the most valuable lessons I have learned in life his how to handle my poltergeist. Today I will pass that lesson down to you

 


We all have a personal poltergeist. Most of us just fail to recognize them.

A poltergeist is an angry ghost. Why is it so mad at you? If you are the cause of the poltergeist’s ghostdom, the answer is obvious. Sometimes, the answer is less simple.

I am pretty sure that my poltergeist selected me because I was eating sweet rice pudding. Why would this be? I don’t know. The world has many great mysteries, and this is one of them. All I know is that the wrath of my private poltergeist first appeared over dessert, and that all of my subsequent attempts to eat rice pudding have been thwarted.

In truth, it matters not how you and your poltergeist ended up together; what counts is that you did find each other. And you are now inseparable, whether you choose to admit it or not.

Just like any other tag-along friend, all your poltergeist wants is a little bit of love and affection. It will warm the cockle’s of your poltergeist’s empty heart if you will just pause now and again, to shower them with endless affection.

Candle-lit dinners are a must-have, though if you use real candles, you should be prepared to explain to authorities how the neighbors’ house burned down. More adventurous poltergeists may enjoy a trip to the paintball shooting range. I’d stay away from bowling with your poltergeist, and really any sport involving a bat or a club. Swimming is a good bet, if you’re ready to do some haunting of your own.

For those who really want to love their poltergeist to love’s limits, I would have to recommend a private vacation. Just you and your poltergeist, holed up in a rustic cabin somewhere, with no one to come between you with ill-begotten plans of rescue.

Rent a private airplane, and have the pilot drop you above your secluded destination. Make sure that your vacation home has no distractions such as television or the telephone or teletubbies to whittle away your time with your beloved poltergeist.

You could call ahead to a rental agency and find a place up to your standards, but I’ve actually found that squatting works just as well. Your poltergeist will make sure that any owners or official renters agree to let you stay on without them. But a good, old-fashioned back-woods cabin, vacated for the last 100 years or so, often has a special charm, for instance a collection of rusty metal band-aid boxes, each containing a lock of hair. This is the kind of special touch that makes the crazy cabin home.

I’d have to say that the best trip for two for your poltergeist and you does not happen in the island tropics, but high in the icy mountains. Yes! That’s it! A ski-trip!

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DR LEGGS’ report on SOPHIE MAY (Lucy Gamble)

DR LEGGS’ report on SOPHIE MAY (Lucy Gamble) 

Hello, I am Dr Leggs, the resident psychiatrist of Sunset Cove. Many interesting people come to see me about their problems (and you can sometimes see me in Atlantis High!). Each week I’m profiling different Sunset Covers – and this week is everyone’s sweetheart of Atlantis High – Sophie May.

Name:Sophie May
Age: Sweet 16 and never been kissed.
Status:

Psychotic sweetheart of Atlantis High

Appearance:Well groomed schoolgirl. Sophie always sports the latest in twin set attire. Her bunny Mr Fluffy Muffin is never far from her side.
Past History:The past is a bit shady here. Sophie does not talk about her family. She seems to treat her rabbit Mr. Fluffy Muffin as a family member. Indeed her poltergeist is almost part of the family too. Sophie has a huge soft spot for Anthony and is convinced that he feels the same way.
Motives:Sophie just wants everybody to be as sweet and snuggly as she is and is quite happy to dish out advice to anyone who will listen…and those who don’t. She does have her moments however and loses her temper if people do not act in a way she likes. Her poltergeist comes out in these moments and Sophie goes a wee bit, well, psycho. Sophie’s heart is in the right place though and she really just wants to be loved.
Influences:Sophie is easily influenced by most people when they are nice to her. She is quite naiive really and likes to believe that people are being honest with her. Sophie likes Antony and Antonia. She has a lot of time for Giles Gordon. Sophie’s biggest influence however is Mr. Fluffy Muffin.
Strengths: This girl is just the best at colour co-ordination. She’s great at matching her hair ties with her cardigans. Sophie is really good at baking, especially apple pies. Sophie is very good at catching and handling mice.
Weaknesses: Sophie is probably not the most intelligent of people. She is gullible. She is used to getting her own way. And Sophie loves ice cream.
Catchphrases: “As my pet rabbit Mr. Fluffy Muffin says…” or “yukky”
Secrets:.There is more to this girl than meets the eye I’m sure. But I just can’t get to the bottom of it.
Rumours:

Some say that Sophie is the type of person who should get beamed up by aliens, poor girl. Others say that Sophie actually believes that Mr. Fluffy Muffin is real. And others claim that Sophie wants to make Giles Gordon her own.

CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO THE LIST OF DR LEGGS’ REPORTS AVAILABLE SO FAR…